Fabrizio Piciarelli
In both the scientific and medical fields, no common ground exists about
the concept and nature of homosexuality, but still – in
order to have an open and productive debate stretching beyond the sterile
logics of partisan propaganda – it is possible to make some considerations,
not just on morality, but also on psychology, anthropology and society.
That is the hard task the authors of a recently published book, “
La aventura del amor
” (The love adventure) took on, to
address the issue of love and emotions under various points of view,
homosexual love included.
Does homosexual love exists?
One of the questions the book raises is: does homosexual love actually exist, or is it just pure
attraction, sexual compulsions dictated by instinct and emotions? It should
not be forgotten that until 1973 – not centuries, but merely a few decades
ago – homosexuality was considered a disease, or at best a
sexual deviation rooted into a personality disorder. It must be
acknowledged that such an approach has been proved wrong. Sexual inclination and desire cannot in
fact determine the health and psycholog y of an individual.
Physician and psychologists have long known that people – even heterosexual
individuals – may experience a more or less temporary attraction towards
individuals of same sex, without it constituting a homosexual condition or inclination. But what about those instances
where a man or a woman go beyond their simple sexual instinct and transform
their compulsion towards individuals of the same sex in an actual life
choice? And what about those who choose to undergo severe sex-change
surgeries? There is no easy answer. Sometimes
these inclinations hide a deep internal suffering and discomfort, a social
uneasiness, often even an inflicted violence or a tragic disappointment in
life. These choices, even when made in full conscience, often stem
from a profound struggle.
That is why, now more than ever, the ability to provide an education to love is crucial, so that emotions and
feelings may be truly pure and free. The authors rightly note that
existential orientation is by far more
important than
sexual orientation.
Knowing the “inner world” of people – and here’s where the work of
psychologists, educators, but also priests becomes important – can
help us listen, to better understand and accept the other, helping him in
discovering purity and peace through faith.
We previously reviewed two documentaries
that present a good picture of the
searching of true love by homosexual people.
The education and guidance to love
The book stresses the importance of providing parents, teachers and
educators with proper guidance and preparation so that they may be aptly
suited to take on their educational challenge towards children and
teenagers. Faced with the mainstream invasion of gender ideologies often
entering our homes through videogames, music videos, songs, movie and tv
shows, they need the right
tools to guide and educate children towards love.
For instance, when hints of a homosexual inclination are present, the following
guidelines may be of help:
· fostering interpersonal relations with individuals of the opposite
gender;
· emphasizing the value of friendship;
· avoiding the isolation inside an all men/women environment;
· emphasizing the value of chastity and marriage, as the results of love
between a man and a woman.
Homosexuality and Christian pastoral care
The stance of Christian
pastoral on individuals experiencing an attraction to the same sex is well
presented in a recent interview by Franco Olearo to bishop
Marciante on
the magazine “Il Timone”
(June 2017) with the title: “Homosexuality. To accept is not to justify”.
The Catholic Church has always stressed that nobody is exempt from God’s mercy. God does not
discriminate on the basis of sexual
inclination. Good
Christian pastors always try to
leave no one behind. This unconditional openness, however, does not mean
anything can be justified. A proof of our good will is required: chastity.
God wants us to be strong witnesses for chastity, that is our gift to the
ones we love. As bishop Marciante points out: “the Church
demands the virtue of chastity from the celibate, the betrothed, unwed
widowers, estranged couples and even from spouses. Chastity is the capacity
of the individual to be faithful to the truth of sexuality itself. Since so few
talks about it, it seems that
chastity has been wiped out from the vocabulary of our social reality. It
has become a taboo. Chastity is not merely the abstinence from sexual
relations; it is the
safe keeping of the ability to love. At its core, chastity is the
transparency of the heart.”
Love and Sexuality
The relationship between love and sexuality is intrinsic in human nature.
In an increasingly confused society, the true challenge is providing
educational guidelines able to create balance and harmony between feelings
and sexuality. “La aventura del amor” can be a valuable guide to clarify
the themes of feelings and sexuality from multiple perspectives, be them
theological, medical, anthropological, psychological and communicative.
We’ll say it right away: this is not an easy book, since it aims to address
issues that are complex and “tricky”. The book’s opening question
immediately suggests the core matter: “Why do we favor fleeting (when not
thoroughly virtual) relationships? Why are we
no longer able to stay together for a lasting time, with the common goal of a shared life at its core? The answer is
dramatically simple: people think that personal freedom goes before anything else, it must go beyond every limit, constraint or duty. We no longer have a true
link between the education to freedom and the education to love.
What contribution this book offers?
Why it should be read? The authors gives us a suggestion: “One of the merits of this works
is providing solid anthropological, philosophical and scientific
foundations for the explanation and the debate over currently controversial
issues in the fields of affectivity and sexuality, while remaining
accessible even to those inexperienced in this field and offering practical applications that make it a veritable handbook.
This work offers interesting notions to parents and educators that know
how crucial and difficult a real education to love truly is.”
