How to Talk to Children About Evil: Six Tips

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How do we talk to children about the evil in the world? From news of homicides and wars to the daily hardships that reach us, how can we raise strong, hopeful children? And how can we do so without scaring or unsettling them, but rather encouraging them to become the force for good that the world so deeply needs?

I am a mother of two children under ten. When they are small, we try to protect them from anything that might hurt or upset them, avoiding exposing them to harsh or difficult realities: wars, accidents, illnesses, sudden deaths. But then they grow up. But then they grow up. And the news still gets through: at school, through classmates, from adults’ social media, even from a radio left on.

It is impossible—and perhaps not even right—to keep them completely in the dark. This world, with its lights and its shadows, with its surges toward good and its falls into evil, is the world they will have to live in.

This article isn’t meant to be a how-to-do guide, but rather an invitation to reflection, especially when it is precisely they themselves, first and foremost, who ask us questions.

1. It is easier to find good than evil: let’s help them see the positive side of life.

Let’s show children how much good there is in the world, even if it often goes unnoticed. There are more people who heal than those who hurt; more people who help rather than destroy; more acts of quiet kindness than loud cruelties. Showing them the good reinforces the idea that the world is a reliable place, that life is good, and that it is worth trusting.

2. Good and evil both exist in the world: they coexist, like wheat and weeds. They can choose which side to be on.

Evil exists because not everyone has learned to respect others, because some want too much for themselves, and because selfishness can take over. War is born from hearts that can no longer see others as brothers and sisters. Children, however, need to know that they can be part of the change: they can bring peace to their school, among their friends, and within their family.

The world doesn’t fix itself: let’s be the first to set defeatism aside and help our little ones develop a big heart.

3. Why silence or lies don’t help.

Dr. Loredana Luise, a psychologist and psychotherapist, explains how to talk to children about war, noting that silence does not protect them. Instead, it breeds anxiety and frightening fantasies. Children sense evil and are afraid of it, even if we don’t name it. Therefore, let’s talk about it using simple, reassuring words; let’s become a safe harbor for them and educate them for peace.

4. Death exists too, but it shouldn’t be a taboo.

Death hurts, it brings tears, and it leaves a void. Being honest about this is important. However, children must also be given a message of hope: life doesn’t end, it changes. It is a natural transition that no one escapes, but love never dies.

Even many non-believing parents tell their children that their grandparents “are in heaven.” To believe that life continues is a need of the human heart, even before it is a dogma of faith. Let’s not deprive children of this profound comfort.

5. Let’s help them recognize evil… starting from their own hearts.

To grow up strong and free, children—and later, teenagers—must learn not to fall into the traps of evil. For example: not responding to unkindness with harnesses; not harboring grudges; apologizing when they make a mistake; knowing how to say “no” when something makes them uncomfortable; and choosing kindness, honesty, and sincerity even when it’s hard.

The very first place from which evil is driven out is one’s own heart.

6. Educating for non-violence and nurturing hope by helping them see alternatives.

Lee-Ann Chae, an Associate Professor of Philosophy at Temple University (Philadelphia, USA), specializes in ethics and childhood. She explains the importance of educating for peace without causing fear. Evil exists, but it is possible to raise children’s awareness without terrifying them, by using simple and peaceful words.

In her work, when speaking about war, for instance, Lee-Ann Chae explains that it is essential to give children truthful words and allow them to imagine non-violent alternatives.