A few days ago my wife Carolina received an invitation on her social
networks (Facebook and Instagram) to upload a photo in BLACK and WHITE as
part of an ONLINE chain that
aims to exalt the value of WOMEN in our society. #ChallengeAccepted,
#WomenSupportingWomen and #WomenEmpoweringWomen are three of the most used
hashtags in this “challenge” that a significant number of friends and
colleagues from my own social networks proudly shared and accepted.
To begin with, I would like to make it clear that, as a husband, father of
three daughters and researcher on family issues, I will always agree with
any movement that is in favor of women, of men, of children, and of the
family as a whole. But coming to the point, among the many messages of that
chain, I read one that caught my eye, supposedly written by the awarded
Nobel in Literature Gabriel García Márquez, in which the author elaborates
about the idea of “intelligent women”. It is not my business to discuss
about the identity of such a controversial text is, but about the point
which he – or she, who knows- makes: “you will never be the center of her
life because it revolves around herself”.
I respect the author’s freedom to express his or her opinion on this “hot
issue” in such a way, but I do prefer answering him (or her) as I did in
2014 – with some good reception by the readers, by the way. On that year I
addressed a public letter to my wife:
LETTER FROM A HUSBAND TO HIS WIFE.
So I have given myself the task of confronting the sophistry behind the
idea of “intelligent women” with a new letter: “women who know how to truly
* * *
How many men have I heard saying that they want to know the true love of a
I would encourage them not to stop dreaming of that unique love…
Women who know how to LOVE are women who know how to think too…
And knowing how to think implies knowing how to truly love.
For that reason, women who KNOW HOW TO TRULY LOVE:
1. Make decisions thinking about their own good, yours and your children’s
in perfect HARMONY. Being able to desire anything in life, they desire
mainly to be with you and with them, in the hearth of your HOME.
2. For them, the center of their life is the love you have built together:
the “us” of FAMILIAR and MARRIED life.
3. They do not have time for SHORT-TERM PROJECTS, but rather they do
anything to return the great love that YOU have professed to her,
materialized in a sublime way in your children’s life.
4. They understand that we men ARE NOT PERFECT, but they know how to
appreciate that you have “broken your back” to carry out the family project
you are building together… because without it, the society we all are
longing for to build up and participate in would not be possible.
5. They know how to dialogue with people who think differently from them,
because they understand the concept of TRUTH… being aware that the truth
bothers today, but still they have the courage to defend their point of
6. Being able to have EVERYTHING the modern world has to offer, they decide
to venture into a greatest project: to love you and the children God gives
you, knowing that you, a man, had also an independent past, but you once
decided to give up everything and to commit yourself into this project for
her, for her happiness.
7. She always thinks of you, her husband and father of her children, in
every decision she makes… even though the dominant culture is constantly
telling her that, as a man, you are not worth it, you are not necessary,
you are even her worst enemy…
8. They will always seek to share everything with you, especially the lives
of your children, knowing that today women’s motherhood is hold as
completely secondary to their individual aspirations.
9. They desire above all things to “walk” by your side… to take your
arm… to let you dare to think that you can be a better person.
10. They know that both men and women are capable of VIOLENCE and that the
world today has permitted the maternal womb to witness the largest
HOLOCAUST in history…, which only God will forgive in His infinite
mercy… both men and women.
11. They understand that human feelings have be governed by reason and
heart, because nothing justifies violence, whether physical or moral …
although when they have to defend themselves, they do it facing God and
facing the rest of humanity.
12. They do not need “chains”, material or immaterial ones, because they
know that love itself is free, but responsible.
13. They feel that their bodies are TEMPLES of the Holy Spirit, because God
has touched every pregnant woman at the moment of being a mother.
Therefore, her motherhood exalts her body towards the infinite.
So I remind you, MAN: If you long for a WOMAN WHO KNOWS WHAT TRULY LOVE IS,
you will have to LEARN TO TRULY LOVE.
I learned from my WOMAN… and I am still learning.