Happy couples share very few photos on social media.
Science says so. Almost all couples that are on social media share
particularly special moments in their lives with photos, shout-outs,
videos, etc. But then there are the couples whose relationships are solely
about what gets posted online.
According to researchers at Albright College, this
behavior is related to what is called Relationship-Contingent Self-Esteem (RCSE).
Those who have low personal self-esteem, who find it difficult to express
their feelings in real life, or who have high social anxiety are more
likely to demonstrate this sort of behavior.
“Those with high RCSE feel the need to show others, their partners, and
maybe even themselves that their relationship is ‘OK’ and that, therefore,
they are OK,” says Gwendolyn Seidman, assistant professor of psychology at
happy couples don’t really need to constantly post about themselves on
because they are busy enjoying each other’s company offline.
Taking and posting pictures all the time or posting a new status would
distract them from enjoying the present moment.
Love on social media: is it true love?
After interviewing more than 100 couples, researchers at Northwestern University found that those who frequently
post about their relationship on social media are actually deeply insecure
about their relationship. The researchers’ thesis is that if a couple
continuously posts content about their relationship, it is likely to be a
ploy to convince everyone else that they are in a happy and healthy
relationship. In reality, it’s just a way to trick themselves into
believing they are in a happy, healthy relationship.
When your boyfriend or girlfriend becomes a trophy you show off
Then there is yet another phenomenon of showing off one’s girlfriend or
boyfriend as a trophy to brag about.
In this case, flaunting each other’s beauty allows us to feel important and
like there’s something we have that others should envy.
There are boys and girls who need to feel like others look up to them. They
need to know that others appreciate them. Having a good-looking,
well-dressed, charming partner to show off increases their self-esteem.
Thus, one runs the risk of reducing one’s boyfriend or girlfriend to an
accessory. The article
A Girlfriend Isn’t a Trophy
offers a testimony about a girl “displayed on social media” by her
boyfriend so he could be envied by his friends.
Social media, in these two cases, doesn’t help anyone to see and value the
beauty of that person. On the contrary, they push the commodification of
affection, feelings, and the body.
If you find yourself in a situation like one of these, it is important to
first understand why you come to see social media as a kind of escape from
real life, why you struggle to relate to others “offline,” and what holes
you are trying to fill.
And speaking on behalf of those who work in academia, it would be wise to
promote true emotional education, even simply starting with these behaviors
found in the digital realm.
It is important to raise awareness about decency and modesty and to help
kids see that behind every face in a photograph is a real person who
deserves to be known and loved in real life.
Otherwise, we risk kids ending up believing that life is nothing more that
posting “like-worthy” stories.